The Bigger Win: Turning a Donor’s “No” Into an Even Better “Yes”

By Megan Hodges

While recently coaching a capital campaign client, I was reminded of one of the hard truths of fundraising: Not every donor conversation ends with a gift—and that’s OK. 

I was helping our client prepare for a conversation with a major donor, and we had done everything right. We did our homework, we had reason to believe he could make a larger gift, and we crafted a thoughtful ask. 

But as the conversation unfolded, it became clear that all of our preparation wasn’t going to be enough to move him. The timing wasn’t right, and he wasn’t ready to commit to a larger gift.

Our strategy could have ended there, with a “no for now.” I could have met with the client the next day to talk about a plan to continue building the relationship and a strategy for approaching the donor in the future.

Instead, we pivoted.

Make a new game plan

Thanks to our research, we knew the donor was an estate attorney and the chair of his university’s planned giving advisory board. He knew the field inside and out. But in previous conversations, he had also been hesitant to increase his giving.

When we were prepping for the meeting, I encouraged our client to have a back-up plan to shift the conversation if needed. Instead of asking him for a gift, what if she could tap into his expertise? Maybe he could offer insight and guidance on how to better integrate planned giving into the organization’s development strategy?

She did this. And he lit up. He jumped in with ideas.

That’s when the real opportunity emerged.

Almost offhandedly, he said, “Why don’t you create a named planned giving society and market it? If you did that … I guess I’d have no choice but to join.”

At the end of the day, we didn’t walk away with the major gift we had in mind. But we did end up with something just as valuable: a champion, a concrete idea, a path forward and a verbal planned gift commitment.

Be open to the unknown

The interaction was a real-time example of some of the advice we often tell our clients:

• “No” isn’t always the end. It’s often the start of a different conversation. Especially when you’re talking to seasoned philanthropists, timing and personal passion matter just as much as capacity.

• A gift can come through a door you didn’t expect. A planned giving society wasn’t on our original agenda, but it may well become a catalyst for future gifts and a new culture of legacy giving. 

• Donors want to offer more than dollars. This donor had a wealth of expertise and he was eager to share it. People love to be helpful, especially in areas where they feel knowledgeable and respected. 

• Always have a plan B. You have to be able to think on your feet when facing the truly unexpected. But in many cases, you can plan for the different directions a conversation could go. If you know a donor is feeling uncertain, be ready with an alternate plan to keep them engaged and involved.

By keeping these ideas in mind, we avoided shutting down the conversation and instead laid the foundation for something with lasting potential.

Sometimes, that’s the bigger win.

If your organization is considering a campaign, schedule a free strategy session to learn how the Heller Fundraising Group can help you develop a winning strategy.

Megan Hodges is a senior fundraising consultant with Heller Fundraising Group, with over $150 million in revenue raised through her work with organizations like Princeton University, DREAM, and Success Academy Charter Schools. She specializes in capital campaigns and strategic fundraising initiatives, helping nonprofits amplify their impact.