The gift that keeps on giving: The importance of relationships in fundraising
Relationships are the engine that drive your fundraising. As consultants, we’re always telling our clients to focus their time and energy on building connections that last and lay the foundation for transformational giving.
But what do those relationships look like? And how can you nurture them in ways that feel authentic rather than transactional?
To offer an example, we’re turning to our founder Peter Heller. When he started his fundraising career at Columbia University, he forged several key relationships that led to millions of dollars in gifts to the engineering school. Those gifts continue to pay dividends today, as both endowed scholarships that offer financial support to students and a few lasting friendships.
One relationship in particular stands out. Jim Down is a retired senior advisor and management consultant who held leadership roles with several organizations including vice chairman of Mercer Management Consulting (now Oliver Wyman). Thirty years ago, he was a prospective major donor to Columbia Engineering. That’s when he met Peter and developed a friendship that continues to this day.
In a recent conversation, Jim and Peter talked about how that friendship developed and deepened, and what made it different from typical fundraiser-donor relationships.
Jim:
At the time we met, I had been asked to join the Engineering School’s advisory board. You were involved in recruiting me for that. I was giving annually to the school, but modestly.
Peter:
I had just started with the Engineering School, which hadn’t really been engaging alumni in fundraising. I met you and a handful of other alumni because I was looking in the database for people who had made annual fund gifts of maybe $1,000 or more—and there weren’t that many.
Jim:
I remember you asked me if I had ever thought of endowing a scholarship, and I was totally taken aback. I could honestly say no, I hadn’t. That’s something that rich people do. And your ask was not insignificant. You asked for $150,000 over five years.
Peter:
That was gutsy.
Jim:
I totally dismissed your proposal but somehow, we got there because in March of ’97, I pledged $50,000 over three years for the purpose of endowing the James and Donna Down Scholarship.
It was a lot of money for me at the time, but the idea of endowing a fund that would support financial aid in perpetuity was of great interest. And I’ve continued to fund it over the years. After I retired, I did some consulting projects and instead of paying me, I asked people to make a donation to the scholarship. And of course, Columbia has done a good job of growing their investments.
If you had told me that one day it would grow to $700,000, I would have been totally shocked. Now, roughly $35,000 gets distributed to financial aid annually, each year naming a James and Donna Down Scholar.
Peter:
That’s why I wanted to work at a place like Columbia. It felt like it made a difference. It felt important. The students were getting a really good education, and helping the university with its budget felt like a worthy activity.
Jim:
Columbia had an annual dinner where they brought in people that received scholarships, and I always found that to be a great idea. I could meet the students, and I could see how the money I was investing came to life.
One student spent several holidays with us, we got to know his mother, and we went to his graduation. We kept in close touch as he started with Boeing in their space program and then switched over to Northrop Grumman. I went to his wedding a couple of years ago. That has just been so gratifying to watch him grow.
I’ve also dealt with so many development people over the years in all kinds of different organizations. I believe you are the only one that I have an ongoing relationship with.
Peter:
Wow, Jim, I’m so touched.
Jim:
For most of them, it’s all about the money, but you developed a real relationship with me. I never felt like it was all about the money.
Peter:
I had a gut sense of how to do this work. But after I left Columbia and had been running my own company for a few years, I came across a woman named Lynne Twist who wrote a book called The Soul of Money. She said fundraisers should show a genuine interest in learning what’s important to a potential donor.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t want something from the donor. But it needs to come from a place of real curiosity and the hope to inspire. It’s how we try to train our clients when they’re asking for gifts.
Jim:
I am somebody who values relationships greatly. As a management consultant, I’ve spent a lot of time in the Middle East where you don’t walk into a meeting and pop up your PowerPoint slides. You have tea and coffee, you get to know them, and then eventually you’ll talk a little business. In the U.S., it tends to be slam-bam, here’s what I want, here’s why it’s good for you, let’s get on with it. That doesn't appeal to me. I like to work with and spend time with people that I know and I trust.
The fact that we’re here 30 years later, we’re both doing very different things, but we’re still maintaining a relationship—that’s very meaningful. It’s the same with the students. I wouldn’t feel the same way about this scholarship if I hadn't gotten to know many of the students and developed relationships.
Relationships are so important, but they take time. It’s not one meeting. You have to be willing to invest the time in getting to know people.